I could spend this time shitting on the male gender but that would be counter productive. The act of engaging in the activity that creates two contingent trains of thought, as if the event was not experienced by both people. In what other events can the outcome be seen so vastly different based on the psychosis of the people involved. Of course, perspective influences our everyday decisions and how we interpret the world around us. However, the influence of perspective seem to go off the charts when it comes to this particular activity. I don't know a single person regardless of the sex that have not been hurt by someone wanting only the physical act of sex and nothing else. We can't influence people to see an event from our point of view. I also know that everyone has experienced sex as and act of falling for someone and the means to quench a desire. I believe that the stance that we have when two people first come into contact, is the path that the relationship is deemed to take. if sex starts as just sex to one person in the exchange, it will not develop into anything in their eyes. That's how my last relationship started to halt with his last statement before it ended, "I never really cared about you". He got what he wanted in the beginning and he found other things to take from me before I was baron of anymore offers. That. That is the definition of toxicity. Seeing people only as openings to offers they can't get on their own. Love is the growth of your own person by their influence. Being as physically close to someone and still not feeling close enough.
So why is one act so detrimental to the direction of people's perspective on each other. The only answer I have is, I don't know. In the means of society, the male gender is generally seen as only looking for sex- not any emotional attachment that might come with it. While, the female gender is portrayed as having a lack of physical desire but emotionally invested by the act itself. I can only speak for myself as a female with my own beliefs. I experience desire on a daily, I don't know anyone as a human who doesn't. Beside from those claiming asexuality, but I don't know anything about those urges (or lack of). I've experienced sex in which I care and do not care for the person. I have a outlook in life that I would limit sexual activity only to those that I generally feel a sense of connection to. One nightstands are not something that I seek. However, depending on the other person sometimes my lack of judgement can cause that outcome; Or, of course, alcohol consumption.
I believe It comes down to three things that influences the stance we have on sex and the person it involves. One, our general stance on sex and our outlook on what it means. To some sex is just a physical act in the same realm of riding a bike, having no relation to indications of love. To others it is the highest expression. Disaster occurs when two people of divergent thoughts get physically involved. Two, our feelings towards the person before our first physical interaction. If we find someone unimpressive before sex, it is unlikely that we would change our minds after sex. You have sex what more do they have to offer? Three, our physically stance on where we are in life. One common thing you will hear in a sex based relationship is that one party is not ready for a relationship yet. I hate to tell you this if you haven't figured this out yourself. They just aren't wanting a relationship with YOU. There are some conditions that differ from that, such as, getting out of a long relationship, or dealing with personal problems that are too debilitating to focus on someone else. It's up to your judgement which pool your experience falls into.
It is almost impossible to determine how people will react to sex with each individual partner. No matter how similar in thought two people are, their outlook on sex will most likely differ. Try to get both people in a sense of understanding before engaging in anything physical. Word to the wise, have a philosophical discussion before undoing any buttons.
